Some Funny Short Jokes

Funny But Real News Headlines

These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country.

Include your Children when Baking Cookies

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted

Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case

Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents

Farmer Bill Dies in House

Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

Is There a Ring of Debris Around Uranus?

These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country.

Stud Tires Out

Prostitutes Appeal to Pope

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again

British Left Waffles on Falkland islands

Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms

Eye Drops off Shelf

Teacher Strikes Idle Kids Some Short JOKES A friend is one who knows who you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you become, and still gently invites you to grow. A friend is someone that won't begin to talk behind your back when you leave the room. A friend is someone who dances with you in the sunlight and walks beside you in the shadows. A friend is someone who has the same enemies you have. A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words A friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart. A friend is someone who thinks you're a good egg even though you're slightly cracked. A friend to all is a friend to none. A giving church is a living church. A goal properly set is halfway reached A goal without a plan is just a wish. A good character is the best tombstone. Those who loved you and were helped by you will remember you when forget-me-nots have withered. Carve your name on hearts, not on marble. A good conscience is a soft pillow. A good example is the best sermon. A good exercise for the heart is to bend down and help another up. A good friend see the first tear, catches the second and stops the third. A good marriage is like a casserole: only those involved actually know what goes into it A good school is a community where children learn to live first and foremost as children and not as future adults.